Thursday, July 25, 2013

Women's Shelter Swing Set Has Seen Better Days

As the summer takes full swing in Missoula, blue skies and sunshine have kids at our shelter itching to enjoy the good weather. For the past several weeks, every time I’ve come to the shelter at least one child has begged me to play with them in the backyard.  

We play tag, soccer, football, and numerous games invented by the kids themselves, but by far and away our swing set is the Number 1 favorite for kids playing at the shelter. The swing set has worn many hats throughout the years, including Tree House, Star Ship and Monster Cave. 

The swing set at the YWCA women's shelter is on its last legs. 
Sadly, our beloved swing set has seen better days. Due to the wear and tear over the past few years, two of the swings became too dangerous for children to use. With only one safe swing remaining, our outdoor play set is struggling in its last days. 

We would love to have a new swing set for kids to enjoy safely! If you have one to donate, call the YWCA Missoula office at 406-543-6691. 

Posted by Hattie, YWCA Missoula Pathways VISTA

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Quirky Finds in Secret Seconds' 'Pretty Room'

Our new store on Broadway is mere weeks away from being finished! We are very excited! Unfortunately, contrary to previously stated, the Broadway store will have to close for a couple of weeks in August. During that time, Secret Seconds employees will be hard at work reorganizing the store and making it look great! 

While the Broadway store is closed, take the opportunity to frequent our other thrift store location at 920 Kensington.


Due to our expansion, a charming little nook that we like to call the "pretty room" will cease to exist. This is a place where we keep extra special treasures at the Broadway store, like vintage jewelry and accessories. Be warned, not everything in the 'pretty room' is pretty (ex. creepy dolls). But come find these gems while you still can!




Posted by Shelby, Secret Seconds Thrift Stores Clerk



Monday, July 8, 2013

Keep Showing Up: A Child Advocate's Story

I have spent a lot of time this year witnessing trauma. In my position as a Children’s Advocate in a domestic violence shelter, I have served children who have survived and witnessed a staggering range of violence, abuse and anger.  

Trauma looks different in each child. It can speak through blank stares and distant gazes, or it can lash out as confrontation, defiance and anger. It can trigger refusals to eat, sleep, listen, share, use the toilet, go to school, or respect authority figures. 
One 13-year-old boy I worked with closed himself in the closet, screamed at the top of his lungs and threatened to harm himself. A nine-year old girl wet her pants every time she heard her father’s voice. A five-year old boy would scream, “I hate you! I’ll mess you up!” when he disagreed with your suggestions. One four-year old boy stopped talking altogether, opting instead to spend his day rocking back and forth in a ball on the carpet.


It can break your heart to watch kids surviving violence. But it reminds me every day about why showing up to them matters.
What children develop as coping mechanisms to survive and process violence can damage the rest of their lives. The attachment disorders, mental illness and violent behaviors that develop in response to trauma pose life-long obstacles to children – and later, adults – who endure them. Often, the women in our shelter who grapple with complex, multiple diagnoses (on top of the trauma of their current situations) cite the violent homes they grew up in as the root cause of their struggles.  
But what can we do about it? We can’t erase memories, nor should we. We can’t “fix” families, nor should we. We can’t heal every wound – we can’t even perceive them all.
But we can keep showing up.  
As a children’s advocate, my role is to be a peaceful, safe, fun adult that the kids in shelter can trust to be there for them. I’m the one they can play with, talk to, goof around with, earn stickers from, and accompany on outings. Sometimes I’m the one to cook their meals, tie their shoes, and help them with their homework. We talk about Spongebob and coloring books, boogers and fairies, dinosaurs, pancakes, calm bodies, and feeling angry. We talk about their friends, their pets, their stuffed animals, and their superpowers. We talk about what it’s like to move to a new place, to leave your grandma behind, and how a reservation is different from a city. There are giggles and high fives and temper tantrums, and a lot of messy dishes.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand the impact of service. It can be hard to see families return to abusive situations, or to see kids leave the shelter only to continue being homeless. But the greatest joy in my position is to witness the change  however small  that comes over children during their stay in shelter. Perhaps it’s as subtle as understanding the difference between gentle and violent hands, or it’s as monumental sharing your toys rather than hitting people with them. It can be that kids feel allowed to be kids again – to choose their favorite clothes to wear, belt their favorite tunes, blow bubbles in their milk, smile when they say hello, or shake their tail feathers when you turn on the radio. When a child who’s played a protective role can leave mom’s side, knowing she’s safe, I know that what we do matters.


Miranda, a YWCA Children's Advocate, stands with a tree created by children in the domestic violence shelter and attending support groups. 
Earlier this year, I was pushing a four-year-old girl and her brother on the swings in the backyard. The girl started singing and laughing. 
“Felicity*, I love to hear you sing!” I exclaimed. 
“Oh, I know!” she shouted. “Everybody does!” 
When I asked her why I hadn’t heard her sing before, she replied, “We only sing when we’re happy!”
I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of our time together finding reasons for Felicity to sing.
A domestic violence shelter can change a child’s life. Sometimes, it even saves it. And whether or not I ever understand the full impact of my relationships with the children I meet there, I’ll know that it’s a privilege and a joy to keep showing up for them.  

Posted by Miranda, Jesuit Volunteer Corps member, YWCA Missoula Pathways Program

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Onward and Upwards: A Volunteer Success Story

I love volunteering. I don’t have very many hobbies, but if I had to state one it would be volunteering. When I first came to Missoula as a freshmen at the University of Montana, I was a little lost. Not only was I lost because of the confusing Missoula roads, but also with my own self-purpose. Somewhere near the end of freshmen year an acquaintance recruited me to volunteer for an afternoon at Habitat for Humanity. 

Something that afternoon clicked. I loved it, I was happy, and I was hooked. 

However, I knew Habitat for Humanity wasn't exactly for me, and so began a year-long journey of “testing out” many different organizations. Then, as if it were fate, my schedule allowed me to attend advocate training at YWCA Missoula. As they say, the rest is history. 

By the end of July, I will have served two AmeriCorps terms at the YWCA. The first term focused on providing direct services to women fleeing domestic and sexual violence situations by filling response, FirstStep (sexual assault response) and shelter check-in shifts. I am currently serving the second term as the assistant volunteer coordinator for Pathways, and I have been working side by side with the volunteer coordinator over the last six months. I am very thankful for my experiences at the YWCA because I have learned so much here during the last two years. However, it is now time to move forward.

This spring, I completed my bachelor’s degree in sociology at UM. Along with my degree, I graduated with a nonprofit administration minor and became a nationally Certified Nonprofit Professional. Because of the above accomplishments and experience, I was accepted into Indiana University Bloomington's School of Public and Environmental Affairs (SPEA) to pursue a master's degree in Public Affairs with a focus on Nonprofit Management. According to U.S. News & World Report's Best Graduate Schools, SPEA is ranked as the second best Public Affairs graduate program in the nation, with the nonprofit management program ranking first of its kind. Over 600 individuals applied to attend the program and only 125 were selected this year, which explains why I shed tears of joy when I found out I received my acceptance letter. The icing on this spectacular cake is that I have also been awarded a pretty fantastic fellowship that continues to allow me to work within a nonprofit setting while I attend school.

YWCA AmeriCorps Volunteer Emily graduated from the University of Montana this spring with a degree in sociology. 
I am positive that my acceptance into SPEA was heavily influenced by the time I spent at the YWCA. I am very thankful to the YWCA because they gave me the chance, and often times the freedom, to combine what I love doing with amazing learning opportunities. These opportunities allowed me to get to know some of the most amazing and capable women and men in Missoula. Even though I am leaving, I am taking with me many fond memories and the inspiration to continue to help others.

Thank you, YWCA Missoula! 

Posted by Emily, YWCA AmeriCorps Volunteer






Tuesday, July 2, 2013

GUTS! Girls Take Missoula By Bike!

I met Jamie* one afternoon in the lobby of the YWCA. She was waiting with her mom and younger sister to talk with a women's advocate in our walk-in counseling room. I immediately noticed her big personality while I was making copies nearby. We had a few spots open for the following week’s GUTS! bike camp, and I thought Jamie looked like she was nine or 10 years old. (Having worked with girls for the past five years, I’ve gotten really good at guessing ages.) 

In the summertime, GUTS! leads overnight outdoor trips for girls ages 11 and up and a day camp for girls ages 9 to 11. This year was our first-ever bike day camp. We partnered with eight community organizations and incorporated service projects and fun adventures. The best part? The girls biked everywhere ALL week!


I approached Jamie and her mom that day in the office with information about GUTS!, and they were immediately interested, especially after I explained that we have scholarships available. While her mom and little sister spoke with an advocate, I sat down with Jamie to interview her for camp. I learned that Jamie had just learned how to ride her bike. 

“I’m practicing every day and getting really good,” Jamie said confidently. 

“What are some of the strengths you will bring to camp?” I asked her. 

“I have [Justin] Bieber Fever,” she responded in a shy but excited tone.

The following Monday morning, Jamie showed up at Free Cycles with the other nine girls. She brought her small BMX bike, a softball helmet and her Justin Bieber backpack. After tuning up our bikes and fitting helmets, we were off to our next adventure - a bike rodeo led by City of Missoula bike ambassadors. Jamie pulled me aside and told me that she didn’t want to ride her bike. 



“I’m not good enough yet to ride with the group,” she said. “I think I should just walk.” 

I quickly paired Jamie up with one of our amazing women leaders who ensured her safe arrival to McCormick Park at Jamie’s pace. The first two days Jamie biked a few stretches but mostly walked with one of our leaders behind the rest of the group. Leaders Lily and Kaya took turns coaching Jamie, providing encouragement, and even offering a positive affirmation for her to repeat to herself.

GUTS! leaders intentionally scheduled the first two days to be short-distance biking for this very reason. The leader team discussed our options if Jamie continued to have to walk each day. We ultimately knew that Jamie could do this; it was just a matter of her knowing that she could do it. Each time she rolled into our next destination, the group cheered her on with applause and high fives!

Much to our surprise, by day three Jamie was hesitant but willing to try riding with the group. With the encouragement from other girls and GUTS! leaders, she made it through the day without walking at all. By the end of that day she was proudly sharing her success: 

“Roe! I rode 17 times without any help!”

Each day continued as such and by the end of the week, Jamie was confidently riding alongside the rest of the group with the biggest smile on her face. In just one week, Jamie transformed before our eyes! This transformation was more psychological than anything else. Thanks to our supportive staff and the positive reinforcement of her peers, Jamie’s belief in herself and her body enabled her to do what she wanted to do: bike.

At GUTS!, we truly believe that investing in girls like Jamie will give them the confidence they need to change our world. 

Posted by Roe, GUTS! program manager
*Name changed to protect confidentiality. 

Check out these photos of our first-ever GUTS! bike camp!

Monday, July 1, 2013

YWCA Offers Classes to Enrich the Community

Many community members may not realize that the YWCA offers monthly Community Enrichment Classes. In the past, participants have enjoyed  learning how to cook on a budget, manage their time, get the most out coupons, polish their resumes, learn about estate planning and work on journaling. Classes are held on Thursday evenings from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m. and are open to everyone in the community.  Free childcare is provided if you sign up ahead of time!

The YWCA also partners with HomeWORD to provide budget and credit workshops.  HomeWORD teaches quarterly classes on budgeting and savings and credit lending.  During the budgeting and savings class, participants learn how to develop a budget and what their financial goals are. The credit lending workshop teaches how to pull credit reports, what credit scores mean, and what creditors look for from loan applicants. 



This month’s class is slated for Monday, July 15, 6 to 7:30 p.m. and focuses on Compassionate Communication. Patrick Marsolek, a clinical hypnotherapist, will teach participants simple, yet effective tools to connect with others while expressing yourself more clearly. The class will develop tools that bring empathy, honesty, and integrity into all communication. 

Please sign up by Wednesday, July 10 if you would like childcare.

Join the Facebook event!

The YWCA is always looking for topic ideas and teachers willing to teach classes! If you have a skill to share, please contact Lisa Bruce at 543-6691 or lbruce@ywcaofmissoula.org

Posted by Lisa Bruce, YWCA Emergency Housing Case Manager